AYUSH BHERWANI

On my way home from College looking out the window, I tried to imagine how I wanted things to happen. Writing a fancy story of my own I was musing about the past and how my decisions affected my own story. I was thinking, what if we hadn't met yet? Its three years and I never notice how time flew and life propelled so rapidly. You are a habit my heart doesn't want to get rid of. I certainly miss you and I feel exhausted because I'm burdened with the thought of your lips on someone else, someone who isn't me. All I ever wanted was to be called "mine" by you. I still remember when you left me for my blunders, I was so frightened to socialize, I cried at the dinner table following night before my Mom gave me a little pep talk. She told me that she'd love me the same, even if I did 1000 such blunders. People say it is the inadequacy of something that truly teaches us its value. For this is how I came to know the pure worthiness of love. 

                          You always held on to me in the bad times, long enough to hurt yourself. I know the pain I gave you, every time I made your heart ached you used to endure it for the sake of our relationship. Love is transient, it disappears with time. I still remember our first kiss we shared, and we promised the eternity, but I think it has a different sort of meaning in your dictionary. You didn't only walk off from that garden that day, but also from my life, it felt like I didn't even matter to you and I was perhaps a stranger again who used to stare you all day. I still remember the day you said yes, I was so happy that day, I couldn't have asked more from my life. You know the funny thing about the breakup; I'm not so spiritual, but I begged God to give me two years, let us be together for two years, let me live those two years and I won't ask for more. I think he heard me that day. I should have a...

She said I want to go somewhere and never come back. I grabbed her hand and intertwined her fingers tightly. With tears coming rolling down her eyes, she said," I hope you find someone better, someday, who can make you feel happy rather than unhappy. Someone who can give you more,  someone who can give you butterflies in the stomach." Wiping her tears away, I said,"I don't want to dive into someone new. I'm just exhausted by the idea of falling for someone new. I don't want to set myself free; From you; From the memories we shared. I started loving you from the moment I realized that you meant everything to me. In the population of 1.34 billion people, I came across my favorite one on the day I met you. I find a universe in you that I want to be the part of. With each passing day, I love you a little too more." With very gentle and clear voice she said,"It hasn't been easy for me, I love you, but not enough to stay, not enough to fix every...

Ego and relationship are like sun and the moon, they do not go with each other. Ego is the synonym of evil. It comes with the emotions like fear, hate, obsession, and needy desire. Your ego must not be an obstacle in your relationship. The word, I has a very strong possession on our mind. We always give more importance to I than our relationship. The person who give more importance to I, is as person who thinks, he is humble and he has no ego. As long as you have an egoic mind, you cannot truly find peace in your relationship. Ego is like a parasite and your relationship is a host for that parasite. If you free yourself from ego, your relationship opens up endlessly. You have to understand that it is not always about you in relationship. Sometimes, you have to let go of things to make things right. When you apologize, the ego inside your mind will whisper to you,"What are you doing, Losing yourself ?". But it is worth losing yourself. We always come through quotes l...

I don't understand why destiny brings two souls together only to tear them apart. You give your everything, you do everything to please them and make them happy, yet they screw you pushing you away. We care for them and cry over them months even after it ends. We tell them everything, and then months passes by and everything changes. It goes from "I LOVE YOU" to "I MISS YOU". It's hard to accept that the person you give everything, shatter your soul and walks off. It is even harder knowing that you are not the one. You feel so empty, you miss a piece of you. The piece, you gave them. It is hard to forget them. The moment you think you are over them, and then the memories come rushing back, and tears knock your eyes. Sometimes we want them, but sometimes we also want to get over them, but at the end of the day neither happens. At the night we miss them, we read old conversations and smile like an idiot, and miss them more. People say, it is was meant t...

It is exasperated thinking, where I belong. After all these years, how could I, throw it all away? I just care too much for a person, whom I considered being my soulmate. My heart is fighting an uncharted war with my mind for her. It is difficult for me to understand my emotions , my heart craves for every single piece of her, on the other side, every time I see a smile on her face it gives me a reason to stay away from her for a little while longer. I wish, one morning I wake up in a parallel universe, where my heart does not ache so much, where I can feel her breath against my skin, and fall in her eyes all over again. Every night I drown in tears of the agony that seems endless. Losing you forever has been more painful than a breakup. Just when I try to move on in life, something reminds me of you, and I'm in love with you all over again. Everyone expects me to move on, but how could I when everything I could think about, is her. I can't lie, I really miss you...

I’ve been thinking a lot about sins I committed in past and every mistake I did and the more I think the more I regret. And, I’ve spent so much time just trying to figure out where it all went wrong, where I lost it all. Sometimes we commit sins in the past, and those sins haunt us like the worst nightmare. You lose everything, your friends, sometimes your loved ones, and above all, you lose yourself. I know how it feels to be judged for your mistakes, and not for the person who you want to be. I know that feeling of being helpless, trying to justify yourself in those conservations, where people only show you your sins. I also committed sins in the past, it is almost two years and still, I'm paying every day for those mistakes. I lost everything. All I can do is sit in a corner and let tears knock my eyes, cry the hell out. It's okay to sob like a baby and let the emotions escape your soul. Not everyone who will come across the sins you committed will forgive you, But you ...

It was just like the worst nightmare, I woke up one morning and realized, I have lost my soul somewhere between self-esteem and faults. I struggled to hold my tears when she took steps away from me. I held her hand and tears came rolling down my cheeks and kissed my lips, the first words were please stay, I need you. My nights were sleepless, I don't know where it went, I don't remember losing it. I was caught between a flimsy heart and a sturdy mind. I had been away from her for weeks before my heart was longing to go back and relive those beautiful moments with her. Whatever it may be, I loved her like no one can, and I was still hoping for her to come back. But then, maybe I shouldn't have fooled myself like that. I tried to hate her, but missing her was much easier rather being mad at her. I know, it is different sort of place now, but three years ago it offered a sense of companionship to a lonely and sensitive boy. Three years ago I was searching for quot...

Art by Rajnish Kiri Remember that time you promised me something? And it was all on your terms; that you’d never leave, that you’d always stay. I never asked you to say those words but you did anyway, solemn and heartfelt as you were. I didn’t want to believe them at first - I shook my head vigorously in disbelief. But eventually, you showed me through your kind actions how you weren't all just words. I believed your love was real but simultaneously, I refused to allow my mind swallow your promises up entirely. Then the months flew fast and we let time wear and tear us apart. Fear devoured me and I could see worry crinkle in your eyes. We weren’t going anywhere, were we darling.   And as the months flew by, you stopped whispering those three words tenderly into my ear. Your kisses went cold and every time I held your hand, they didn’t melt into mine as they did before. It was as though you did all those ...

Image by SummerDreamz Sitting in the lobby, watching beautiful stars; I sat awake whole night through. I had been thinking all kind of things that night, the smell of her body was swirling in my mind. I know she has gone away, but her presence gave me a sense of joy and happiness. All this time I never thought about our faults in the relationship. Looking to her photograph in the mobile, tears knocked my eyes and came rolling down and gently kissed my cheeks. How could she change so much? A cap on her head, blue colored top, a thin waist, it was like god has painted a beautiful painting. On her birthday, I do not remember how I passed the night in long shadows, weeping in the bed. Every memory, every detail of her is like a nail driven into my heart. I still remember the breakup day; When she slapped me in front of my sister. On that day we discussed everything, I don't know was it proper to discuss everything on that day? Sitting on the vehicle in the midst of the road, she ...

A star is not jealous with other star shining nearby. A rain drop does not envy with its peer. A leaf fallen on the ground doesn’t stops wishing well for other leaves still hanging. A thorn does not backbite about the rose. People feel jealous when they see someone else living the life or having the thing they desire for themselves. It is natural to feel jealous and it is nothing wrong about it, as long as the jealousy is leading the person to the racing track. Then the person can work onto his sweats to get what he desires in life. This kind of jealously every winner has experienced once or more in his life. However if the feeling of jealousy is developing anger, envy & anxiety within you, then you are not just jealous, you are feeling helpless & you are understating your ability to get something which other person possess. Jealously would kill you from inside, if you water the plant of jealousy with anger instead of hard work. You could either grow the cactus within you...

A Smile may be a small word, but it is the most precious thing you can give to anyone. One day you will figure out that, this “Smile” word is just going to fit into your ideas. While everyone has a frown on their face, try to spread the smile to them. If you ever think, you have no reason to live your life, live your life for spreading a smile to others. Find that little happiness when you make others smile. Some people are too tired to give a smile; Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile so much as he who has no more to give. Be a Joker in someone's life. Now, you will think Joker; Really?  Yes, a Joker. Jokers are a very important part of this world. In this cruel world, they are the good people. In this world of pain, they are the heal. In this world of sorrow, they are the happiness. A joker is a person who is very rich. Tho they don't even have food to eat they are rich.  They are rich because they spread happiness and smile, happiness and smile which even mon...